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Writer's pictureKimberly Tilley

The Seven Most Important Things in Prayer-Part 3 (Forgive as You Have Been Forgiven)

We’ve been hung up for a while studying “Faith,” which is the second most important thing in prayer. The first is that we pray to the Father in Jesus’ Name. In Mark 11:23, 24 we are told that when we pray, we must believe that we receive, and we shall have what we pray for. The first verse (23) in faith we can have what we say, rather than saying what we have. Every word, every word we speak is either a word of faith, or a word of doubt. It is a blessing or a curse. We find these truths all throughout scripture but especially in Proverbs, we read over and over about the tongue, speaking, thinking. . . I challenge you to stop, pay attention, BEHOLD, to when the scriptures say, someone said, and then that it says what they said then comes to pass.

Our faith, our belief, is tied up in our words, our words are founded in our thoughts, and our thoughts are founded in our hearts. Renewing our minds in the scriptures will fix the root (the heart, the soil) so that the seed (words/harvest) will come.

So today we’re going to talk about the third most important thing in prayer, which is forgiveness.

Forgive If You Have Ought Against Any

Mark 11:25-26 (AMP) 25 And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings.

Prayer won’t work unless you have a forgiving heart. Last week we talked a lot about the parables that Jesus taught, and we mentioned this one, but didn’t dive into it. As we do remember that Jesus said the parable of the sower is the key to all the other parables. The seed is the Word of God, and the soil is our heart.

Matthew 18:23-35 (AMP) 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants. 24 When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents [probably about $10,000,000], 25 And because he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made. 26 So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, Have patience with me and I will pay you everything. 27 And his master's heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt. 28 But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii [about twenty dollars]; and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe! 29 So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all ! 30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master. 32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you? 34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed. 35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.

Genesis 12:2 (AMP) 2 And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you [with abundant increase of favors] and make your name famous and distinguished, and you will be a blessing [dispensing good to others].

Whether we are talking about the blessing of money, or the blessing of the fruits of the Spirit, if we go back to the beginning of our familial blessing, which was with father Abraham, God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. By being a blessing to others, we are blessing God. By being a blessing to others, we are magnifying God. By being a blessing to others the manifestation of the Holy Spirit will be visible in your life.

Proverbs 29:22-27 (AMP) 22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and a man given to anger commits and causes much transgression. 23 A man's pride will bring him low, but he who is of a humble spirit will obtain honor. 24 Whoever is partner with a thief hates his own life; he falls under the curse [pronounced upon him who knows who the thief is] but discloses nothing. 25 The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set on high. 26 Many crave and seek the ruler's favor, but the wise man [waits] for justice from the Lord. 27 An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, and he who is upright in the way [of the Lord] is an abomination to the wicked.

In order to walk continually with the Lord, we have to learn to walk, not by our natural emotions, but by our spiritual emotions, walk by the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-25), which again is the definition of love (I Cor 13). Walk out our lives in love, first love for the Father, and then in love for our neighbor as we also love ourselves (Mt 22:37, Mk 12:30, Lk 10:27).

Ephesians 4:17-19 (AMP) Paul tells us: 17 So this I say and solemnly testify in [the name of] the Lord [as in His presence], that you must no longer live as the heathen (the Gentiles) do in their perverseness [in the folly, vanity, and emptiness of their souls and the futility] of their minds. 18 Their moral understanding is darkened and their reasoning is beclouded. [They are] alienated (estranged, self-banished) from the life of God [with no share in it; this is] because of the ignorance (the want of knowledge and perception, the willful blindness) that is deep-seated in them, due to their hardness of heart [to the insensitiveness of their moral nature]. 19 In their spiritual apathy they have become callous and past feeling and reckless and have abandoned themselves [a prey] to unbridled sensuality, eager and greedy to indulge in every form of impurity [that their depraved desires may suggest and demand].

Often times it is the people that are closest to us that we have the hardest time staying in harmony with. They/we know exactly how to push our/their buttons. They know our weakest most tender spots, and sometimes in the moment, without really planning to, they/we stab right there. But, when we truly come to the understanding of what Jesus did for us at Calvary, when we humble ourselves before the Lord like little children, knowing that we can never pay the debts that we owed, but that through Jesus, we have been forgiven anyway, and adopted into the family of God. That we are now seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. Do you see your throne? Do you see your crown? Jesus translated us out of the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of God!

Our own belief in that blessing comes from renewing our mind in who the Bible tells us that we are! We should be telling our friends, our loved ones, and even those who aren’t quite nice to us, about Christ, about who they are in Christ, about who we are in Christ.

Ephesians 4:32 (AMP) 32 And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Whether or not someone accepts your forgiveness is not your problem, our problem is to never, ever let a root of bitterness grow in our heart because we have refused to forgive someone who has offended us. I wonder how many ways that we have offended God through the years, yet Jesus, who took our offenses upon Himself, keeps washing us white as snow so that we can stand before God in righteousness, not our own but His.

Isaiah 26:3 (AMP) 3 You (the Lord) will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

I want to take a moment for us to look at David, because often times when we blow up at other people (or someone else blows up at us) we/they have already allowed their thoughts and emotions to put them in a “woe is me” position that then vomits over onto the surrounding people.

1 Samuel 30:3-6 (AMP) 3 So David and his men came to the town, and behold, it was burned, and their wives and sons and daughters were taken captive. 4 Then David and the men with him lifted up their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep. 5 David's two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite. 6 David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

This all took place while David was in exile, he had accrued a following of around 400 men with families that were also in exile for some reason, and he, David, was having to “take care of.” But, when the enemy come against all of them, they were pretty quick to blame David for their misfortune. You’d be amazed at some of the things that we have had employees come to us with, as if it were our fault, through the years. . .

The only way to stay, to walk in, perfect and constant peace is to keep our minds committed to and focused on Christ, and to lean into the Holy Spirit for guidance. If we keep focused on Christ and what He has done for us bitterness will never find a place to take root in our hearts, because to be truly focused on Christ is to be aware of the debt He paid and the gifts that He has bestowed upon us through Calvary. We are born of incorruptible seed. We are seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. Again, we can only control ourselves, don’t blame other people or your circumstances because you cannot control them. You are responsible for you and your own emotions, your own reactions, no matter what the circumstances are, and we live in a fallen world, so there will always be trials and tribulations for us to walk through as long as we are this side of heaven. But, God didn’t do it.

James 1:13-15 (AMP) 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. 14 But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). 15 Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.

The dictionary definition of lust is a strong, overwhelming emotion, it does not necessarily always refer to things of a sexual nature, which is how we tend to define it most often. But let’s look back to Jesus’ definition in the Sower and the Soil, where we find that He says:

Mark 4:19 (KJV) 19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.

Sin is an end result of a process that has already begun. Lust (overwhelming emotion) is the conception process. You cannot sin without your emotions, or desires, being involved. You can’t hurt a person with you’re your words unless you’ve already been thinking on it and nurturing it in your mind. Prov. 23:7 – “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. . .” This brings us full circle back to: Our faith, our belief, is tied up in our words, our words are founded in our thoughts, and our thoughts are founded in our hearts. Renewing our minds daily in the Word of God and in prayer will fix the root (the heart) so that the seed (words/harvest) will come.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t deal with us over our actions, but He deals with us over the attitude or our hearts. One of the professors talks about “sandpaper” people, everybody has at least one in their life, you know the person that rubs you wrong every time you encounter them. . . Most times those people are brought in to our lives so that we can be a witness, if we snap (respond outside of the fruits of the spirit) we can kill our testimony, our opportunities to be a witness to them, but if we respond to them in love, and continue to respond to them in love, it will eventually make a difference to them.

The fourth most important thing in prayer is to depend on the Holy Spirit to help you in your prayer life. Spend time praying in the Spirit in order to build ourselves up as David did. Praying in the Spirit shuts our own thoughts down and allows the Lord to speak to us, to love us.

Number Four: Depend on the Holy Spirit’s Help in Prayer

As we’ve discussed in previous lessons, one important way the Holy Spirit helps us in prayer is to give us utterance in other tongues. Paul discusses praying in tongues in I Corinthians chapter 14. Sometimes, those sandpaper people, need us to spend some time praying in tongues, in order for our spirit to come into an understanding with the Spirit of God and how in particular that maybe we can minister to a particular person.

1 Corinthians 14:14-15 (AMP) 14 For if I pray in an [unknown] tongue, my spirit [by the Holy Spirit within me] prays, but my mind is unproductive [it bears no fruit and helps nobody]. 15 Then what am I to do? I will pray with my spirit [by the Holy Spirit that is within me], but I will also pray [intelligently] with my mind and understanding; I will sing with my spirit [by the Holy Spirit that is within me], but I will sing [intelligently] with my mind and understanding also.

Romans 8:26-27 (AMP) 26 So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. 27 And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God's will.

As we spend time praying in tongues, and groaning in the spirit, the Word of God, the scriptures become revelation knowledge to us, through the power of the Holy Spirit we receive wisdom for our lives, and sometimes words of knowledge for other people. As we pray in the Spirit, He helps us in our weakness.

Speaking in tongues is a way of magnifying and worshiping God.

Acts 10:44-46 (AMP) 44 While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit fell on all who were listening to the message. 45 And the believers from among the circumcised [the Jews] who came with Peter were surprised and amazed, because the free gift of the Holy Spirit had been bestowed and poured out largely even on the Gentiles. 46 For they heard them talking in [unknown] tongues (languages) and extolling and magnifying God. Then Peter asked,

Number Five: The Holy Spirit’s Help in Intercession and Supplication

The fifth most important thing in prayer is to depend upon the Holy Spirit to help you pray the prayer of intercession. At times we feel led to pray for someone, but don’t know what specifically to pray for, because we don’t know what their needs are. As we submit to the Holy Spirit and pray in tongues, He will give us utterance to pray the perfect will of God for them.

Ephesians 6:18 (AMP) 18 Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).

When we talk about the Holy Spirit, Baptism of the Holy Spirit, the gifts of the baptism of the Holy Spirit, we find that other than praying in tongues which will build us up in the Spirit, all other gifts of the Holy Spirit are for blessing other people. “We are blessed to be a blessing.” Blessing comes through faith, and praying to the Father in the Name of Jesus, forgiving others and praying in the Spirit (tongues). Blessing comes by ministering to other people, whether the ministry is to believe Jesus for their salvation, or to believe Jesus for being able to live a kingdom of heaven life. We are blessed when we start blessing others. Blessing others starts with not holding their faults against them, part of the Elks pledge for new members is to learn the motto which is “The faults of our members we shall write upon the sand.” Not holding faults against someone springboards us into a place where we can intercede for them in prayer and minister to them in the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:5-11 (AMP) 5 And there are distinctive varieties of service and ministration, but it is the same Lord [Who is served]. 6 And there are distinctive varieties of operation [of working to accomplish things], but it is the same God Who inspires and energizes them all in all. 7 But to each one is given the manifestation of the [Holy] Spirit [the evidence, the spiritual illumination of the Spirit] for good and profit. 8 To one is given in and through the [Holy] Spirit [the power to speak] a message of wisdom, and to another [the power to express] a word of knowledge and understanding according to the same [Holy] Spirit; 9 To another [wonder-working] faith by the same [Holy] Spirit, to another the extraordinary powers of healing by the one Spirit; 10 To another the working of miracles, to another prophetic insight (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose); to another the ability to discern and distinguish between [the utterances of true] spirits [and false ones], to another various kinds of [unknown] tongues, to another the ability to interpret [such] tongues. 11 All these [gifts, achievements, abilities] are inspired and brought to pass by one and the same [Holy] Spirit, Who apportions to each person individually [exactly] as He chooses.

So again, blessing, for yourself and for others, comes through faith, and praying to the Father in the Name of Jesus, forgiving others and praying in the Spirit (tongues). Praying in the Spirit helps us to intercede for others, and it builds us up in our faith.

I Corinthians Chapters 12-14 are all about praying in and operating in the Holy Spirit. I highly recommend sitting down and studying and praying for revelation over these chapters. The spiritual understanding, revelation knowledge not just head knowledge, of these chapters is where our power, our authority, in Jesus comes in to play, to be active in our Christian walk.

Number Seven: Interpretation of Tongues In Your Private Prayer Life

The seventh most important thing in prayer is to interpret your tongues, as the Holy Spirit wills, in your private prayer life.

1 Corinthians 14:13-16 (AMP) 13 Therefore, the person who speaks in an [unknown] tongue should pray [for the power] to interpret and explain what he says. 14 For if I pray in an [unknown] tongue, my spirit [by the Holy Spirit within me] prays, but my mind is unproductive [it bears no fruit and helps nobody]. 15 Then what am I to do? I will pray with my spirit [by the Holy Spirit that is within me], but I will also pray [intelligently] with my mind and understanding; I will sing with my spirit [by the Holy Spirit that is within me], but I will sing [intelligently] with my mind and understanding also. 16 Otherwise, if you bless and render thanks with [your] spirit [thoroughly aroused by the Holy Spirit], how can anyone in the position of an outsider or he who is not gifted with [interpreting of unknown] tongues, say the Amen to your thanksgiving, since he does not know what you are saying?

It is true that it is not always necessary for us to know what we are praying about in tongues; but when it is necessary, we can pray for the understanding and the Holy Spirit will tell us.

Blessing, for yourself and for others, comes through faith, and praying to the Father in the Name of Jesus, forgiving others and praying in the Spirit (tongues). Praying in the Spirit helps us to intercede for others, and it builds us up in our faith. Revelation from the Spirit in our prayers is to be fruitful, fruit is to bless others. Blessed to be a blessing, He gives us food for our own hearts, and more so that we can overflow with blessing to others. If we take our food, our revelation knowledge, and hide away the extra it will rot, just like the manna in the wilderness. We are blessed to be a blessing.

We Must Forgive as We Have Been Forgiven

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